Why do bad things happen?

One of the subjects that people frequently discuss when things go wrong in life is, ‘why do bad things happen?’, or ‘why do bad things happen to good people?’  In this life we can experience tragedy, innocence destroyed, grief, and pain – it happens every day. People want to know why, want to believe that there is a reason for the things that happen, but can’t find a satisfactory answer to help them understand the purpose for what they are going through.

Many people believe that we should accept the tragedy and pain of our circumstances as being God’s unfathomable will. However, the Bible tells us that God is good (Psalm 100:5) and that He loves us (John 3:16). So if He is good and he truly loves us, how can bad things – terminal illness, pain, suffering, loss etc. – be a part of His will for us? To put it simply, they aren’t – sickness, pain, suffering, loss – none of these things are God’s will for our lives. He doesn’t cause or desire the bad stuff to happen, but he does promise to work every situation for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28).

Do you remember the classic children’s tale, Pinnochio? To summarise the plot, Geppetto creates Pinnochio, a small wooden puppet because he’s lonely and wants someone to keep him company. However, Pinocchio can’t feel love, he can’t experience true intimacy in relationships, and he has no free will – because he is a puppet. So, Geppetto wishes that Pinnochio could become a real boy, and the blue fairy brings Pinnochio to life. Once he’s alive, and has free will, the deluge of bad decision making comes, along with all the terrible consequences. He listens to the wrong people, heads down the wrong path, is separated from Geppetto, and causes Geppetto a lot of pain and worry. Free will for Pinnochio meant that he was free to do as he chose, whatever the consequences, and that his creator could no longer control him like a puppet.

When God created humankind, he loved us and desired an intimate relationship with us (Leviticus 26:12). He created us in His image, so that we would desire intimacy with him as well. Of course he couldn’t create us as puppets that only did what He wanted us to do, because that would mean we couldn’t have an intimate relationship with Him or anyone else – that kind of relationship has to be entered into freely, and can’t be forced. So, he gave us free will; the freedom to choose to do what we wished; to have a relationship with him or even to be disobedient and separated from Him if that was the path that we chose.

When God created the universe, He put in place many laws. He created physical laws, such as the law of gravity, and spiritual laws, such as the one that requires payment of death for disobedience (Romans 6:22-23). Another set of spiritual laws that were put in place in the beginning had to do with authority. God is all powerful, and authority is derived when the one with power delegates his power to someone else. So, when God created us, he delegated his authority to us to rule over the earth (Genesis 1:28-30). We were in charge, and we were in intimate communion with God as the source of everything we needed. Unfortunately, Adam and Eve exercised their free will to act in disobedience to God. This was when sin entered the world, and along with it came death. What is often not fully understood is that when we disobeyed God and instead obeyed Satan, we also gave or delegated our authority over the earth to Satan. He became the ‘prince of this world’ (John 14:30), and because of that he has been able to cause havoc ever since with the authority that we delegated to him.

When we experience something tragic in our lives, it is not a result of our own personal sin, or something that we have done or have not done (e.g. karma), but is a consequence of the very existence of sin in the world; the sin that transferred our authority over the world to Satan. The people who suffer in this life, and the way that they suffer is certainly not fair. Often the greatest suffering seems to be borne by the least deserving. This is not God’s will for us; it is a consequence of sin in the world. The Bible tells us that ‘the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour’ (1 Peter 5:8), and the destruction he sews is not part of God’s will or God’s plan for us.

There is good news, and it is this: when Jesus came to earth, he overcame sin and death by being made perfect in His obedience (Hebrews 5:9) and then dying as a sacrifice to cover the death payment that was due for the sin of the world – for all of us (John 3:16). His death returned things to their rightful order, so that if we receive him as Lord of our life, and return to an intimate relationship with God, we can have our original authority over the earth restored to us (Matthew 28:18; John 14:12). This means that we, as children of God, now have authority over Satan and all of his destructive plans. In order for authority to be meaningful though, in any situation, it must be understood and used appropriately. Jesus was our example of how to bring the kingdom of heaven to earth, allowing God’s will to be done on earth as it is in heaven now – his good and perfect will. Our world will never be perfect this side of heaven, but if we exercise our authority in Christ, we can overturn the machinations of the enemy and experience victory in our everyday lives, and in the lives of those around us.

It is not God’s will for bad things to happen; it is a result of humankind exercising free will to be disobedient and bring sin into the world, handing our authority over the earth to the enemy. However, God loves us so much, and so desperately wants to restore our relationship with Him, and return us to a life of authority, freedom, abundance, joy, peace, hope, and love - the way that he originally intended for us to live - that He has given us a way to defeat sin and death, and bring heaven to earth now. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. He is the only way, and through him we can follow his example in exerting our restored authority on the earth to reverse the work of the enemy. God is good, and He has good things planned for each and every one of us. In Jeremiah 29:11 it says, ‘“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”’.

Closet full of clothes and nothing to wear

By the way most of these clothes are my hubby's

I stepped out of the shower this morning, and walked into my wardrobe - full of clothes - and found once again that I have absolutely nothing to wear! After experiencing this sensation frequently, and trying to overcome it by the occassional shopping trip, I have come to the conclusion that I am retail-simple.

I have to admit that I don't shop very often these days, and when I do there isn't much time to devote to finding the perfect outfit. The goal of my last shopping trip was to get a dress for G's birthday party. I raced into Myer, sped around some dress racks, found a few to try on, zoomed over to the change rooms, awkwardly maneuvered my double pram into the tiny corridor and then the change room to be faced by an impossible door closed for privacy versus pram conundrum; having to lift and turn, grunt and sweat to get this achieved under the scornful gaze of the attendant. Then, straight out, baby screaming by this stage to the cash register to pay and leave. The whole thing literally took half an hour (and I even bought baby gifts as well).

Don't get me wrong, I like the dress I bought - casual, stylish, comfortable, just one problem... I didn't notice that when I lift my arms up, you can see my bra! And not just a little bit. Yikes! So, now I either have to keep my arms at my side (quite a challenge with two small kiddies to look after) or wear something underneath the dress, and it's not quite so comfortable or stylish anymore. This seems to happen to me more than I care to admit - it's not always the gaping armholes, but there will be something that causes me to dislike my new outfits. When I'm in the change room, I can like the look of something, it will be comfortable, fit well, look nice etc. Then, I get home and wear it a couple of times and suddenly the realisation dawns that actually it isn't comfortable, it doesn't fit well, and it doesn't look nice.

I had a Eureka moment this morning - I know what I need - a stylist, and maybe a personal shopper while I'm at it. Heck, what I really need is a housekeeper, chef, nanny, beautician, nutritionist, personal trainer, and social administrator. I need an entire staff... but I'd settle for a stylist today.

Happy birthday G

Yesterday was the first birthday party for my baby boy. It's hard for me to believe that he has been in our lives now for an entire year. In a few days he won't officially be a baby any longer, and we have so many things to look forward to for the next year, including his first steps and hopefully less ear-piercing squeals and food throwing.

We had a nice little party with mostly family and a few friends. The older kids had an absolute blast, playing in our little park, eating goodies, and generally running amok together. Here are a few pics of the event.

Three year old behaviour - give me patience!

The past couple of weeks, my daughter has sucked all the patience and compassion out of me. People always talk about how difficult it is to have a newborn baby in the house, but give me a newborn any day of the week over a three year old! Two newborns in fact!

Some days I just don't feel equipped for this job. And today is one of those days.

Yesterday morning and then again today, Miss 3 has slammed her little brother's finger in a wardrobe door, leaving a big gash, and now requiring stitches, for which he'll have to be sedated. I'm sitting at home waiting for my 11-month old to wake up from his nap, so that I can take him to the emergency room for the rest of our lives (ah hem... what will seem like it anyway), where he'll be sedated and receive stitches in his finger from being squashed not once, but twice, in a sliding door by his loving sister, two day in a row. We have been to the doctor's twice for this, and now the hospital is next!

Yesterday, after the first incident and trip to the doctor's office, L solemnly promised she would never do it again, and yet here we are again today. The past two weeks, she has been into everything, destroying everything, not listening and generally wearing me out in whatever way she can think of. And unfortuately, her little brother often bears the brunt of her behaviour. I hear that it's just three-year old behaviour, wow am I looking forward to her turning four!

When one of your babies hurts another of your babies, it can be an emotional rollercoaster ride. Fear, anger, pain, regret, worry, love, and lots of tears from all parties involved. I'm still not really sure how to deal with this type of situation. I'm feeling exhausted and it's only lunchtime!

While I was contemplating all this, God brought to my mind how I do the same thing that L has just done. When I do something to hurt someone else, someone he loves, I solemnly vow that I'm not going to do it again, that I'll change, and yet before I know it, there I go, doing it all over again - and not just twice. How much He must love us, to be able to watch us do the same wrongs over and over, and yet forgive so compassionately and so fully.

Of course I forgive L, and I know she doesn't always fully understand the consequences of what she does, but I do understand the consequences of what I do. The thing about changing behaviour is that we can't do it fully in our own strength. The Bible talks about a renewing of our mind (Romans 12:2), and I have learned in recent years that try as I might, I can't do this myself. It's ony through the power of the Holy Spirit at work in my life that I can begin to change the way I think, which in turn effects my behaviour.

...and i know that 'he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion' (Phillipans 1:6).

Chocolate pikelets

My kids love pikelets - they love helping me to make them, and they love eating them hot off the griddle. It's fun to spruce up an old favourite with new flavours just for something different. Try these chocolate pikelets, or you can replace the cocoa with a mashed banana for banana pikelets, or both for banana chocolate pikelets. All very yummy!

Makes 24-30
Temp. :380 deg.

Time: About 3 mins per batch

1 C Self Raising Flour

1 egg

pinch salt

½ C sour, or fresh, milk with 1 tsp vinegar (or buttermilk)

¼ tsp bicarb. Soda

3tbsp sugar

2 tbsp melted butter

1 tbsp cocoa

Sift dry ingredients. Add sugar, egg, milk and butter. Beat until smooth and thoroughly mixed. Add a little extra milk if needed. Place by dessertspoonful’s into greased frying pan heated to 380 degrees. Cook until bubbly on top and brown underneath. Turn over and cook until golden brown.

Serve with butter or whipped cream!

Is moving on the same as forgiving?

When someone has wounded us, sometimes it takes a while for the hurt or anger to subside. When it does, we can often feel like we have moved on, and everything is ok. We're 'over it'. After all, doesn't the old saying go 'Time heals all wounds'?

Just because the pain has become dull, and we have moved on, does not mean that our 'wound' has 'healed'. Moving on is not the same as forgiving.

When we study the Bible, it is helpful to understand the ‘law of first mention’ - which means that when something is mentioned for the first time in the Bible, then every other time that same thing is mentioned throughout the Bible it is always referring to the first occurrence and its original meaning. One example would be that after the Fall, Adam and Eve sewed together Fig leaves to cover their nakedness (Genesis 3:7-10), and then later during Jesus ministry he cursed a Fig tree for not producing fruit, even though it was the wrong season, and the tree withered and died - a reference to the fig leaves Adam and Eve used to try to cover their shame, and how Jesus was doing away with our attempts to justify ourselves, i.e. the old way of things.

The same thing applies when we're talking about wounds and lies in our lives. When things wound us or something happens to make us believe a lie about ourselves or the world around us, that first incident holds a lot of power over us if we don't deal with it right away. The Bible tells us, “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold" (Ephesians 4:26-27). When we let our anger simmer, and we don't forgive the person who has wronged us, then the unforgiveness in our heart is left to stew and grow, and becomes insidious, wreaking havoc on us and our relationships. Identifying and dealing with the first time that we were wounded by someone or something, or the first time we were led to believe a certain lie, will remove the authority or power that it holds over us.

If someone has wounded us, in childhood or adulthood, it can cause us to experience pain, anxiety, anger, we can build up walls of self-protection, we can believe lies about ourselves such as 'I'm not good enough', 'I have to look after myself', 'I can't trust anyone', 'I have to please everyone so that they don't criticise/judge me', 'I am not safe', 'Eating will bring me comfort', 'I must be in control', and so on. Forgiving that person, especially for the first incident that brought the wound or lie into our life, will bring us the freedom that we long for.

I once heard unforgiveness described as 'taking poison and hoping it will kill the other person'. That's what unforgiveness is like - we think that forgiving would be letting the other person off the hook for what they did, or validating what happened, pretending that what happened was ok or acceptable. That's not what forgiveness is - it is an act of will, to release you from the burden of judgement, allowing God to forgive the sin in your own life. It will set you free!

The Bible tells us that God doesn't forgive our sins until we forgive people who have hurt us (Matthew 6:14-15). Sometimes that's hard to stomach - especially if someone has seriously wronged you. You might be thinking that it's ok for some people to talk about forgiveness, but no one else knows or understands what your father, grandfather, colleague, mother, or friend did to you. That's true, I don't know how you've been wronged, but I can say from personal experience that no matter what someone has done to hurt you, it is possible to forgive them, especially with God's help, and if you do forgive, God will forgive you. The American Standard version of the Bible describes it this way, ‘release, and ye shall be released’ (Luke 6:37) - it will set you free.

Here's how we can forgive:

1) Consider the negative incidents in your life that stand out in your memory - they can be big (abuse) or small (embarrassment), from childhood or just yesterday. If you're struggling to think of something, ask God to reveal these incidents to you (if you've never gone through this process you will definitely have some forgiving to do, we all do!)

2) Say out loud 'I forgive (name of person) for (wound/lie)'; for example, 'I forgive my father for making me feel as though I was never good enough', or 'I forgive ----- for abusing me', or 'I forgive ----- for taking my pet dog to the vet to be put down', you get the picture...it doesn’t have to be something that seems ‘big’, it just has to be something that matters to you…

3) Ask God to help you to feel that forgiveness

You will note that the final step is about feelings. A lot of times people say to me, 'but I don't feel like forgiving' - forgiveness is not about a feeling, it is an act of will. It is saying, out loud, I release myself from this burden and give it to God.

Try forgiving someone today. It will set you free!

Getting fit???

Has anyone else noticed how hard it is to get fit again after a lenghy absence from strenuous exercise? I used to play sport, run everyday, ride my bike everywhere, and had no trouble staying fit. But after a lengthy illness that precluded exercise for almost two years, and then two pregnancies, I'm finding fitness is a much harder proposition these days.

It's so much harder to get fit than to stay fit.

Any mother of small kiddies can tell you, finding time to exercise is one of the big hindrances, but there are many more pregnancy and motherhood related issues to keep us from achieving our dreams of being the next ironwoman -

• aching feet - protesting the fact that they swelled to twice their normal size during pregnancy
• total surrender and disappearing act by abdominal muscles
• contraction of every cold/flu virus known to man thanks to littlies sucking on swings at the park, eating bark, slobbering on strange babies, and drinking from random drink bottles whenever possible, then kissing Mummy lovingly and forcibly sharing food with her
• constant fatigue - this also doesn't help with late afternoon carb cravings...

I could go on...

So, I'm trying to get fit, 'trying' being the operative word. I've gone jogging twice this week, so it's a decent start. I'll need lots of encouragement I think, to drag myself out of a perfectly good bed each morning and run bleary-eyed down the road.

I'll let you know how it goes.